Author: Shelley Calista

Coming to Terms

Leave a comment

Okay.  I just got some really big, like life-changing news.  It’s not cancer, I’ve not been given a timeline of my death.  But the doctor said there will be lifestyle changes.  This is real.  This was about a week and a half ago.  I know I’m going to experience a lot of emotions (I already have) and there’s a whole lot I don’t know, like how quickly this will affect me.  But I do know I have to accept the reality of the situation.  I can be hopeful, wishful, positive, optimistic.  I can pray about it.  But I’m not going to pray that it will go away.  I will pray that I will find the strength I need to face this obstacle and use it as a force of change.  Learn the lessons it has to offer.

Rebuking it is a kind of denial I don’t want to waste my time on.  Denying the reality of the situation would only slow me down.  What happens if you keep praying, rebuking, denying it and it doesn’t go away?  Is it your fault?  Were you not faithful enough?  Were you not praying hard enough?  Waste. of. time.  The focus is on the wrong thing.  Accept it and get to the business of figuring out what this will mean to you.  How will I define this?  How am I going to react?  That’s all I can control, my thoughts and actions.

This is just an experience to purify, to distill.  Am I living a life of no regrets?

CREATE

Leave a comment

Dear creator,

Hear my prayer.  I humbly bow before you to plead that you ignore the judgments of others, the little voice in your head that says you’re not good enough, the criticisms of past experiences, the insecurities and what if’s.. and simply create.  It doesn’t matter what you make.  It doesn’t matter what resources you have at your disposal.  It doesn’t matter if you feel like you don’t know how to do it yet.  It doesn’t matter if it looks like shit.  JUST CREATE.  Your life depends on it.  Not the literal life of your body per se, but whatever you consider to be the core of your being- your soul, your spirit, your essence- that’s the life I’m talking about.  It’s what makes you, You.  To be a real live breathing human being is to be self aware and MAKE choices.  Every decision we make is a creation of our life, our world as we perceive it.  We are all artists/ creators and the only way to get rid of that discomfort you’re feeling, that dissatisfaction with where you are now, is to move forward.  MOVE, take a step, make a choice, create.  Don’t worry about the end result or critiquing your every step, just focus on one step at a time.  Give yourself permission to paint that picture, to write that story, to sing that song or whatever it is that your heart is yearning to do.

Amen.